The Grief Cycle

With any loss, a person goes through stages of grief before healing is complete. For the post-abortive woman the stages of grief and their symptoms are:

Denial and Isolation

Won't talk about the procedure. Drugs and alcohol are used to cover emotional pain. Avoids discussions about abortion, life or birth on television, film or in person. Denies feeling any grief. Denies connection of any other problems in her life to the abortion experience.

Anger

Feels she must pay a penance to God, or that she is a not worthy of forgiveness. Compulsive behaviors; rigid personality; irritability; headaches; tension; physical symptoms of pain in the abdominal area; outbursts of uncontrolled anger. Self-hatred, anger at the legal and medical system and anger at God.

Bargaining

Compensating by working too hard, by throwing oneself into community projects or special deeds for others.

Depression

Crying unexpectedly; loss of romantic feelings; withdrawal from friends and society; low self-esteem job or geographical changes; thoughts of suicide; changes in relationships; drug and alcohol abuse.

Guilt and Shame

"I have done the unforgivable. I killed my child;" "I hate myself for what I have done;" "I am selfish, and made a purely selfish choice."

Acceptance

Accepts responsibility for the abortion. Asks for and accepts God's forgiveness. Returns to relationships. Is able to talk about the abortion experience in appropriate settings. Self-esteeming ones replace self-destructive habits.