Post-Abortion Steps to Healing

One of the first steps toward healing for a post-abortive woman is to recognize her experience as a childbearing loss.

Because of the secrecy and shame associated with the abortion decision, most women are never allowed to properly grieve the loss of the child.

Nine deterrents related to a woman mourning the loss of her child have been identified:

1. There is no external evidence that a baby ever existed. Her baby lives only in her heart and mind.
2. There is no formal leave taking or ritual for the mother.
3. The woman may have no support system, or a limited one because usually few people are told about the abortion. Often the people who gave her encouragement to abort don't want to talk about it afterward.
4. Although abortion is legal, socially she is not given permission to grieve openly.
5. The woman carries the guilt of ending her baby's life. Most women can't seem to forgive themselves and live in pain and isolation.
6. If she shares what she did with a loved one, she may experience rejection, disapproval, anger, humiliation and harsh judgment.
7. Few professional counselors have been trained to take these women through the steps necessary for healing and reconciliation with God.
8. Most abortion advocates provide little education to prepare the woman for the tremendous sense of loss they will feel after the abortion.
9. The grief cycle and timing is different than other types of losses. A woman may remain in a state of denial for years and postpone the grieving process.