Help for Battered Women

The woman who is experiencing violence at home is not alone. Millions of women suffer this kind of abuse. It is important for her to understand that she is not responsible for her partner's violence--nothing she says or does excuses violence. Nor is there any circumstance in his life that excuses violence--not alcohol, drugs, financial problems, or physical or mental illness. No woman has to accept this kind of behavior; she does have some options.

ACTIONS TO PROTECT HERSELF WHILE SHE IS STILL IN THE RELATIONSHIP

1. She can develop a support system--a friend or relative with whom she can talk freely, a support group in a church or other organization, or her pastor.

2. She can contact local domestic violence programs to get information about local laws and resources such as shelters, counseling, and legal assistance before she needs them. Friends and churches can help by getting this kind of information to share with her.

3. She can document injuries through photographs and written descriptions of what happened. The woman needs to be sure these documentations are placed in her medical records or in a safe place (probably with a friend or relative, not in her house). This information will facilitate any legal action she may decide to take in the future.

4. She can arrange a signal with a neighbor to indicate the need for help (turning on a porch light during the daytime, raising or lowering a particular shade, etc.).

5. She can collect important documents--birth certificates, passports, health insurance documents, immunization records, etc.--for herself and her children and leave them (or a copy) with a friend or relative. She can pack a bag with clothes, medicine, personal care items, and money and leave it with a friend so it will be ready if she needs to leave quickly.

6. She can prepare herself emotionally for the probability that the time will come when she will need to leave for her own and her children's well-being.

7. She can call 911 if she is ever in danger.

OPTIONS AVAILABLE WHEN SHE DECIDES TO LEAVE

ACTIONS WHICH REQUIRE PROFESSIONAL ASSISTANCE
(SEE A LAWYER OR LEGAL AID ASSOCIATION)

1. She can get an emergency temporary restraining order. This is a court order signed by a judge saying that for a specified length of time the man cannot molest, harass, or harm her. Some such orders include a prohibition against any contact. Once such an order is in place she can ask the police to intervene if he makes any unwanted contract with her.

2. She can get a legal separation. Her husband is still obligated to provide financial support, even though she no longer must live with him.

3. She can file for divorce.

ACTIONS WHICH DO NOT REQUIRE A LAWYER'S ASSISTANCE

1. She can press criminal charges against the man. If he was not arrested at the time of the beating, she can sign a warrant the next morning. Usually the charge is battery, or aggravated battery, assault, unlawful use of a weapon, or some similar offense.

2. If the case comes to trial, she should bring a friend who can support her testimony in the face of indifferent or hostile judges and State's attorneys.

3. If possible, she should bring photographs taken of her injuries soon after the beating, along with medical records and a witness.

4. If she does not want the man to be sent to jail, she can ask the judge for him to be placed on probation, with the condition that any further mistreatment is a violation of probation.

5. She can seek refuge in a woman's shelter, Center for Battered Women, or whatever other agency might be available to her. She can call her local United Way, YMCA, Salvation Army, or ask her church how to find out about these resources.

6. She can obtain counseling for herself, and if possible, prevail on the man to get counseling also. If he admits there is a problem, she can make counseling a prerequisite to reconciliation or to her remaining in the home or returning to it.

7. She can seek to upgrade her own vocational skills so that if the situation cannot be resolved otherwise, she will not be trapped because of financial dependence.

8. She can move and try to start over in a new location.

RESOURCES

National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-SAFE

Family Violence Prevention Hotline. 1-800-END-ABUSE (1-800-363-2287).
This line provides help to friends, neighbors, relatives, bosses, pastors, doctors, teachers and others who want to help in a situation of domestic violence but don't know how. Callers will be sent a free copy of "Take Action," a guide to simple, safe, and effective ways to help battered women and their children, bumper stickers, and victim information cards outlining ways battered women can protect themselves and their children. Allow about 4 weeks for delivery of materials.

Spiritual resources are important for a balanced approach to handling any circumstance of life. In a relationship with God, people have the assurance that God is with them always.