Sexual Guidelines for Young Adults

Sexuality is a good gift that God has given to us, and given an environment of trust and commitment, it can be a major component in finding fulfillment in life. But it is left to each person to decide the context in which to express his or her sexuality. For the conscientious person, particularly for the Christian, the crucial question is whether that expression is acceptable in the eyes of God.

The choice of how to share oneself in a sexual relationship is a decision which only the individual can make. Unfortunately, the Christian attitude toward sex has too often been wrongfully portrayed as negative and condemning. Today we are learning a great deal about human personality and sexuality. Changes are occurring in society, in the way persons relate to each other. It is the task of conscientious Christians to learn to distinguish between Biblical precepts which are fundamental, and those which were meant to apply only to a specific time or society.

In seeking a standard of morality on which to base sexual guidelines, what is more appropriate than the teachings of Jesus? In most of our human relationships, the Golden Rule and the commandment to love our neighbor are fundamental. Perhaps this is the answer to our dilemma regarding sexuality. What standards might result if we approached our sexual behavior with such questions as: What would it do to me as a child of God and a follower of Christ? What would it do to my sexual partner, who is my "neighbor" to be loved as myself? What would it do to the family, and to the well-being of children? What would it do to human society?

There are some real problems associated with sexual activity outside the safety and commitment of marriage between a man and a woman-pregnancy, venereal disease, violation of personal and family moral values. And today young people must face the reality of life-threatening or incurable consequences such as AIDS or herpes. Alongside these serious issues, there is also the matter of how much intimacy you can share with one person and then go on to other relationships. It usually cannot be done without some emotional pain and loss. Then there is the question of the intimate sharing which should be characteristic of the marriage bond. If you have freely shared yourself with multiple partners, what unique expression of your love do you have to bring to your lifelong partner? That crucial aspect of deep trust and absolute confidence may be jeopardized.

A fulfilling and rewarding relationship can be very important in the life of a young adult. Considerable frustration and confusion are involved in trying to make mature choices. But a responsible lifestyle involves patience and discretion, looking to the wider framework of one's future welfare as a guide for making decisions. By seeking dating partners who share the majority of their values and communicating clearly together, young adults will be better able to make responsible choices about sexual involvement.