Living with a Life Threatening Illness

• Do not assume that a diagnosis of a life-threatening disease necessarily means an early and painful death. Realize that with proper and effective medical treatment you may have years of life left to you, or, depending on the nature of your illness, you may even be cured.
• Let your doctors know you want to be a part of your own treatment. Ask them to discuss the prognosis of your disease with you. Tell them you want to cooperate with them and to have a part in your own destiny. It is YOUR illness and YOUR life.
• Let your doctor know of any changes in your health or of any new pains. On the other hand, don't automatically associate every new pain or discomfort with your illness. Something else may be causing your problems.
• If you have needs, let them be known. No one can anticipate your needs or communicate with you effectively if you remain silent. Do not be afraid to accept help. We all need help at some time during our lives.
• If you expect honesty from others, be honest with them and with yourself.
• Realize that your family and friends have their own unique problems with which to cope. If you turn your anger against them, it makes it very difficult for them to support you or to face their problems.
• Consider whether you are really protecting your loved ones if you decide to be "brave" and pretend "everything is all right" when it isn't. Chances are, they can cope better with the truth than with deceit and "game-playing."
• Be honest with your children, too. Like others, they cannot respond to your need for understanding if they are not aware of your disease and the prognosis.
• Friends may shun you, not because they don't care about you, but because they don't know what to do or say. They are afraid they might upset you or your family by saying the wrong thing. You can help to put them at ease by letting them know how you feel.
• Communicate with people around you. If some of your friends cannot accept your illness, find new friends. Do give people a chance to accept what has happened to you, and cherish those who do not run away from you when your life has been touched by tragedy.
• If you live alone, your problems are different from those of someone with a family. Still, there are things you can do to ease your loneliness. Seek out self-help groups and become involved in their work. Learn the importance of caring and sharing, because when you help others you help yourself.
• Accept the probability of on-going low-grade depression; it can be a tolerable emotion. If it becomes more intense, get help. Learn to find ways to ease your depression. Find reasons to live. Discover new pleasures. Many people with a life-threatening illness find a release for their feelings in writing poetry or books, or in music or painting. Others discover that helping people is a very effective therapy.
• If your prognosis seems good, don't become obsessed with death. Your chance for long-term survival may be greater than some of the people who are worrying about you.
• It does little good to ask, "Why me?" You will get no answers.
• Do not try to find someone to blame for your illness. Even if the actions of someone contributed to the disease, blaming does nothing to help you face your illness. Especially don't blame God. He did not cause your illness, and he is on your side. Many people have learned to live despite life-threatening illnesses and have even used their suffering as a springboard for major accomplishments.
• Realize that hope can be kept alive through your attitude, your faith, and proper medical treatment.
• Forgive others for real or imaginary wrongs. Realize that when you are wronged, it is the other person who really has a problem.
• Don't wait until tomorrow to do something you want to do.
• Learn the significance of love, the love of other people and the love of God--the only thing left when all else is gone--"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love" ( 1 Corinthians 13:13)
• Learn to appreciate the simple beauty of life around you--the first bud of springtime, the call of a bird in the evening, the crispness of early morning, even a sudden thunderstorm.
• Start or renew a personal relationship with God through Christ. Know that he will walk with you every step of your illness and in any circumstance you may face.
• Remember that you cannot alter the course of destiny, but you CAN change your own attitudes toward life and death. You have one lifetime to live, just as everyone else does. Don't waste it.

Suggested Reading

The first and most important resource for any need is God’s Word, the Bible. We have suggested some Scriptures which apply to this topic. For additional suggestions, see our page, Where to Look in the Bible.