Dating Guidelines

The beginnings of social contacts and romantic relationships are strange and unpredictable. Obviously everyone starts out unskilled. It takes experience to know how to play the game successfully. There are several guidelines which can help smooth the process and avoid problems.

• First, it's best to have many interests and activities without narrowing all the attention down to just one person. This time of your life should be like a laboratory in which you experiment and explore, developing your own self-knowledge and your understanding of other people. To do this, you need the widest possible range of social contacts.
• Second, focus on having mostly group activities, especially during the earlier stages. Do things with your crowd, go places together, share your interests as a group. This is the way to get to know guys and girls without the pressure and hassle of a one-to-one relationship. And even if you become especially fond of one particular person, in this sort of arrangement each of you is free to explore other relationships as well, without altering your feelings for each other. Such a setting helps you develop the skills you will need as you continue to expand your social life.
• Third, remember that dating is not primarily a romantic or sexual activity, but a social one. You don't have to feel particularly romantic about a person to enjoy spending an evening together. Focus on the activity, not the relationship. Pick friends on the basis of shared interests. That way you have an automatic reason for being together and a built-in topic of conversation. Many of the pressures and hassles of dating are avoided.
• Fourth, keep in mind that not all relationships were meant to be long-term. Let the activities you share be free-standing, and let the relationship develop according to the natural laws of progression and timing. The experience is worthwhile even if you don't continue as dating partners.

Spiritual resources are important for a balanced approach to handling any circumstance of life. In a relationship with God, people have the assurance that God is with them always.