Coping with Mental Problems

Mental and emotional illness has rapidly become one of the major health problems of our society. It is estimated that up to one person in every seven (about 32,000,000 in our entire population) suffers from mental or emotional disorders serious enough to require professional attention.

As difficult as troublesome behavior is for family, friends, and coworkers to understand and deal with, it is infinitely more painful for the sufferer, for s/he not only is dealing with the crippling internal confusion, anger, and anxiety, but also sees the effect his/her actions have on others. Yet in most cases, the person feels as helpless to cope with the problem as others feel in trying to relate to him/her.

The place to begin in understanding and coping with such behavior is to realize that it may be the effect of an emotional illness rather than a fault of character.

NORMAL DIFFICULTY OR EMOTIONAL ILLNESS?

Like an occasional cold, headache or upset stomach, simple minor emotional disturbances are a part of life for everyone. It is fairly common for a person to be quite upset over some petty annoyance or worried about some insignificant trifle; or feel tense or "down in the dumps" about "nothing at all." Reactions of this kind come, last awhile and then disappear.

But there are disturbances which don't go away, which linger on for days or even weeks, become deep and intense, and affect one's overall behavior, feelings and thoughts. When a condition reaches that stage, it is no longer just an upset or disturbance, but an actual mental or emotional illness.

This kind of disorder has definite causes, upsets the system, and makes it behave abnormally. It should be regarded with the same attitude as we regard a physical illness.

TROUBLESOME PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE IN TROUBLE

Certain behaviors signal that a person may be in emotional trouble. These problem behaviors include:

belligerence--continuously having a chip on the shoulder, ready to argue at the slightest excuse--or without an excuse.

excessive moodiness--frequent spells of "the blues," feeling that "nothing is worthwhile, nothing really matters."

exaggerated worry--continuous anxiety entirely out of proportion to the cause.

suspiciousness and mistrust--a persistent feeling that the world is full of dishonest, conniving people, " trying to take advantage of me."

selfishness and greediness--lack of consideration for the needs of others; a "what's in it for me attitude" about almost everything.

helplessness and dependency - a tendency to rely too much on others and to blame others for the problem; difficulty in making decisions.

poor emotional control - exaggerated emotional outbursts out of proportion to the cause, and at inappropriate times.

day-dreaming and fantasy - considerable time spent imagining "how things could be," rather than dealing with them as they are. Emotionally ill persons often feel isolated, cut off from others and unable to reveal their inner feelings.

hypochondria - constant worrying about minor physical ailments; experiencing imaginary symptoms of illness.

Whether such problems go beyond a minor disturbance to actual emotional illness depends on the frequency and intensity of the problem. If the problem causes continuous or increasing dysfunction in the person's life, professional treatment should be sought. With counseling and medication, improvement or full recovery can be achieved.

HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN?

Most troubled people--people with mental problems--don't start out that way. Each one of us is born with the capacity to be gentle, friendly, loving, and kind. We also have in us the capacity to be fearful, suspicious, angry, destructive, and cruel.

Emotional difficulties develop as a result of early experiences which distort the normal emotional responses, and set up inappropriate and ineffective ways of dealing with life situations. Negative emotions develop in response to life experiences, especially those of early childhood. A mental or emotional illness may be rooted in:

1. A long and wearing siege of trouble, sickness, tragedy or hard luck. This can condition a person to be on a constant alert for trouble, trigger-ready to run or fight, and always expecting the worse.

2. A constant air of doom and gloom in the home. If a child is surrounded by an air of fretting and complaint, s/he may grow up feeling that the world is basically hostile and no one is to be trusted. These negative, self-defeating, pessimistic, attitudes will carry into adulthood.

3. Neglect or rejection in childhood. A child who is ignored or disliked may tend to feel that he lacks the qualities to make him lovable and acceptable. The self-deprecating child becomes an adult full of insecurity, self-doubt and fear, lacking confidence and expecting to be hurt, ignored and rebuffed.

4. Constant scolding and criticism. This may give the child an exaggerated feeling of guilt and a feeling he's inferior, worthless and essentially bad. He is conditioned to expect that everyone will find fault with him and punish him.

The negative emotions which grow out of such experiences may serve the purpose of self-preservation. Confronted by a tense or challenging situation, the person either yields to fear and escapes, or else turns on the source of danger and tries to destroy or overcome it. If the person is made to feel continually defensive or hostile, this kind of response becomes a fixed pattern of behavior, even when no real threat is present.

WHAT CAN BE DONE?

As in all problem situations, the first step to overcoming any dysfunction is to recognize there is a problem, face up to the need for change, and be willing to reach out for help. Help is available from many sources: your family doctor, a pastoral counselor, a Mental Health Clinic, psychologist, psychiatrist, or therapist at a community agency.

The proper treatment of course is determined by the nature of the problem. A counselor may recommend verbal or insight therapy, behavior therapy, drug therapy, or a combination of several approaches. The important thing to remember is that it is right to get help, just as much as if you had a broken leg or pneumonia.

Therapy is a process of self-examination and growth, under the guidance of a caring, supportive counselor who is educated in the dynamics of human behavior and is skilled in techniques which promote personal growth and change.

Choose a therapist who is in harmony with your own personal values and your goals for yourself. Interview several if necessary, to find one with whom you feel comfortable. Ask frankly about the therapist's educational background and training, experience, views on your situation and on issues that are important to you.

Along with the treatment your counselor recommends, there are things you can do to help yourself toward mental health:

• Have a complete physical checkup to be sure there is no organic problem such as a chemical or hormonal imbalance.
• If your doctor or therapist prescribes medication, take it exactly as prescribed for as long as prescribed. If you have questions about your medication, talk frankly with your doctor about your concerns.
• Stay healthy: regular exercise, adequate sleep, a balanced diet; eliminate alcohol, drugs, caffeine.
• Schedule time for recreation.
• Live one day at a time. Set a time limit on worry--give yourself 10 minutes to worry about a particular problem! Then resolutely turn your mind to more positive thoughts.
• Don't mistake crisis resolution for problem removal. Many people think they are all right when they begin to see improvement or have relief from pain. Stay with your counseling effort until you are sure you have dealt with the roots of the problem.
• Take responsibility for yourself--and for no one else.
• Set some reasonable, attainable goals and try to take one positive step toward one goal each day.
• Don't expect to change your life in a few weeks. Problems are rooted in many years' experiences; it takes time to reframe your attitudes and assumptions about life.
• Find someone to talk to--a friend who can offer not just sympathy, but rational understanding.
• Develop a network of people who support you in changing. One good resource would be a local chapter of Recovery, Inc.
• Read helpful and inspiring material.
• Keep a journal; writing down feelings or fears relieves the immediate anxiety and helps you focus thoughts and attitudes.
• Develop a relationship with God through Christ; seek his forgiveness and mercy, and rely on his strength and guidance.

Underlying all this is a basic philosophy--the philosophy of faith: faith in ourselves, faith in others, faith in the ability of each person to improve and grow, faith in the desire and capacity of human beings to work out their problems cooperatively, faith in the essential decency of persons.

Most of all, it means faith in a loving God who wants his children to be free from anxiety, resentment, and conflict, and to live loving, happy, productive lives. He is the only lasting source of the meaning, joy, and peace of mind we all seek.