Last week during our Bible time with the kids, we were talking about God\u2019s love for us and what exactly that means. As the conversation progressed, I asked my kids (ages 6 and 5), \u201cAnd how do we even know God loves us?\u201d For purposes of that particular conversation, I was simply expecting them to answer that the Bible tells us about God\u2019s character. Instead, my daughter said, \u201cBecause you told us so.\u201d<\/p>\n
My reply left my lips before I could ponder the full implications of what I was about to declare.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, no, no, no. I never want you to believe things about God just because I told you so.\u201d<\/p>\n
Internal gasp. Did I really just cast a shadow of doubt on my parental credibility? Did I just make my kids think they should take my spiritual guidance with a grain of salt? Did I just lead my kids to stop caring what I have to say about God?<\/em><\/p>\n My daughter looked at me with a bit of impatience.<\/p>\n \u201cMommy, what I mean is that God told the people who wrote the Bible, then they told people, then eventually your parents told you, and you told us.\u201d<\/p>\n At that moment, I had a choice. I could have taken the easy road and bought back my statement by saying, \u201cOh, OK. In that case, yes\u201d \u2014 or I could commit to the underlying value in my original statement by pushing her to think more critically about what she had just said.<\/p>\n I chose the latter.<\/p>\n \u201cI like how you\u2019re starting to think about this. But what about kids who have parents who don\u2019t believe in God, and their parents are passing down\u00a0that<\/em>\u00a0teaching? They don\u2019t believe God exists because their parents told them\u00a0that\u2019s<\/em>\u00a0what\u2019s true. God either exists or He doesn\u2019t, but we can\u2019t determine that just based on what our parents say. Different parents say different things. Do you see the problem?\u201d<\/p>\n She nodded tentatively, then I landed the plane, in what I realized to be a pivotal moment in my daughter\u2019s spiritual development.<\/p>\n \u201cHoney, there\u2019s nothing more important in this life than what you believe about God and Jesus. But people believe lots of different things about whether or not God exists and who Jesus was. If I let you grow up to believe in Jesus just because I spend the next 12 years telling you over and over that what I\u2019m saying is true, you won\u2019t know what to think when other people tell you something totally different. God has given me the job to not only teach you the truth, but to teach you what excellent reasons there are for believing in Him, so you can discover that truth\u00a0yourself<\/em>. If someone asks why you\u2019re a Christian when you grow up and all you can say is, \u2018because my parents were Christians!\u2019 I will not have done my job well. I need to make sure\u00a0you<\/em>\u00a0know all the good reasons for trusting in Jesus so you can make that decision yourself.\u00a0Don\u2019t believe just because I do.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n My daughter\u2019s eyes twinkled with an unspoken delight in the trust and responsibility I had just handed her. Even at age 6, I could tell she thought that was a big deal.<\/p>\n So that\u2019s a pretty scary conversation to have with your kids, right? We may internally want our kids to believe in Jesus for their own reasons, and not just because\u00a0we<\/em>\u00a0believe, but it takes things to a whole other level when you\u00a0verbalize<\/em>\u00a0that desire to them. It\u2019s easy to fear that you\u2019ll lose spiritual credibility or that your kids will care less about what you have to say.<\/p>\n But, in retrospect, I believe that couldn\u2019t be farther from the truth. In fact, after pondering it a lot this week, I think these six words are a vitally important declaration every Christian parent should explicitly make: “Don\u2019t believe just because I do.”<\/p>\n When you commit to that conversation, six things will happen.<\/p>\n As I\u2019ve written about before, it\u2019s very easy to raise kids who leave home with a \u201cborrowed faith\u201d<\/a>\u00a0\u2014 one that mimics the external behavior of those around them but never becomes part of their internal identity. A borrowed faith leaving home can be just as dangerous as an already broken faith. The result is often the same, just delayed. By having this conversation, you are effectively putting the faith ball in their court and explaining to them how important it is that they\u00a0own<\/em>\u00a0their faith \u2014 something many (if not most) kids would never otherwise consider. Their need to make an active decision about their beliefs will be made obvious.<\/p>\n By telling your kids you\u00a0want<\/em>\u00a0them to discover the truth of Christianity on their own, you\u2019re effectively saying, \u201cI\u2019m so confident that what I believe is true, I don\u2019t want you to take my word for it. I\u2019m going to help you discover that yourself, so you can be as confident about your beliefs as I am.\u201d<\/p>\n That is\u00a0powerful<\/em>.<\/p>\n By virtue of the fact you\u2019re telling your kids that you\u2019re going to teach them over time how to discover the truth of Christianity themselves, you\u2019re naturally introducing them to the fact that Christianity is based on good reasons for belief they can learn about, and isn\u2019t a simple belief system based on blind faith (a common assertion from the secular world).<\/p>\n When you have this conversation, you\u2019re setting the whole tone for spiritual development in your house. You\u2019re letting your kids know that you\u00a0expect<\/em>\u00a0their childhood to be filled with seeking, questioning, and discovery, rather than automated acceptance of handed-down beliefs. You\u2019re opening a very important door for future faith conversations.<\/p>\n One of the most common tactics atheists use to make young Christians rethink their beliefs is to claim they are only Christians because they were born in a Christian home or in a Christian country. In other words, they\u2019ll tell your kids they were indoctrinated based on the situation they happen to have been born into.<\/p>\n But guess what happens when your kids\u00a0know<\/em>\u00a0that\u2019s not why they believe in Jesus?<\/p>\n They\u2019ll be completely unfazed by it.<\/p>\n All of this assumes you actually follow through and mold your Christian parenting efforts accordingly.\u00a0It means committing to working on your kids\u2019 spiritual development regularly at home<\/a>. It means learning how to make a case for and defend Christianity yourself. (You can\u2019t teach it if you don\u2019t know it.) It means being willing to engage in those conversations with your kids. If you tell your children you don\u2019t want them to believe just because you do, you make yourself accountable for taking your efforts to the next level. That\u2019s a good thing.<\/p>\n (<\/em>If you feel intimidated by that, check out my books. I walk you through the most important conversations about faith that you need to have with your kids in today\u2019s world.<\/em><\/a>)<\/em><\/p>\n If you haven\u2019t had this conversation with your kids, pray about it. Then do it in the full confidence that you\u2019re shaping their view of faith in a way that will benefit them for life. If you\u2019re willing, come back and share here in the comments about what happened in your conversation!<\/p>\n This post is used with permission from Christian Apologist Natasha Crain. You can access more great posts like this one by visiting her blog\u00a0ChristianMomThoughts.com<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Last week during our Bible time with the kids, we were talking about God\u2019s love for …<\/p>\n1. You\u2019ll demonstrate the importance of your kids developing a personal, owned faith<\/span><\/h3>\n
2. You\u2019ll demonstrate how confident you are in what you believe<\/span><\/h3>\n
3. You\u2019ll intentionally open their eyes to the fact that faith is not a simple belief<\/span><\/h3>\n
4. You\u2019ll give them implied permission to seek, question, and discover<\/span><\/h3>\n
5. You\u2019ll enable long-term confidence that they believe in Jesus for the right reasons<\/span><\/h3>\n
6. You\u2019ll put yourself on the hook for following through<\/span><\/h3>\n
Take the challenge<\/span><\/h3>\n