Relationships are complex. They can be joyful and difficult, meaningful and challenging. The healthier we are as individuals, the healthier our relationships will be with others. Robert Holden, British psychologist and author, once said, “Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have.”1 Although I believe this to be true, a better way to state it is, “Your relationship with Jesus sets the tone for every other relationship you have.”
Demonstrating the fruit of the Spirit is evidence of portraying Christlike characteristics. Suppose the character traits of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control in Galatians 5:22-23 are signs of living out the freedom we find only in Jesus. In that case, they are just as important to apply in all relationships today. Relationships are like any good marriage and can be summed up with the phrase, “It’s just two givers outgiving the other!” The challenges begin when one individual feels they are giving more than the other. When a relationship is not balanced, all those around suffer.
Whether it is family relationships, work-oriented, personal friendships, acquaintances, or business transactions, there are at least 10 common truths to grasp to be the person Jesus desires. We will look at one through five in this article and save six through 10 for the next time.
- Every person matters: God created them, and they matter, period. We are created in His image (Genesis 1:27). Since He cares about people, we must also care about them.
- Value and honor everyone: When you demonstrate this as a Chaplain, you are an example of what Christ portrayed on the cross – we have worth. Having “worth” and being “worthy” are very different. Jesus honored His creation by going to great lengths to show us how much He values us. As Chaplains, when we show value and honor to others, we live out the gospel (1 Peter 2:17; Romans 12:10; 1 Samuel 2:30).
- Show dignity and respect to all: It does not matter whether they deserve it (Luke 10:29-37). We are to do everything out of a spirit of love (1 Corinthians 16:14).
- Each person is different: Every person is unique with strengths and weaknesses. Do not expect a person to act, talk, dress, or even believe like you. In 1 Corinthians 10:12, Paul defends his ministry and recognizes people are very different, for good or bad. Relationships would be monotonous if everyone was just like the other!
- No communication, no relationship: James 1:19 says, “My dear brothers and sisters, understand this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger” (CSB). This verse instructs us to be good listeners, to be patient, and to try to understand others’ needs. It implies the obvious. There is a time to listen, and there is also a time to talk. Communicate. Things are better when there is healthy interaction.
The Bible is full of relational truths. Next time, we will look at five more truths and continue to be reminded of how important our relationships are in each of our lives. Which area do you need to improve to maximize your ministry with others? Relationships are a gift from God!
1 Robert Holden, Happiness Now!: Timeless Wisdom for Feeling Good Fast (Hay House, Inc., 2011), 72.