On the first Sunday of the New Year, I was excited. 2020 was rough, to be sure, but a new year always brings the hope of new possibilities and opportunities to see God move. The Sunday morning service went well enough. The crowd wasn\u2019t big, but we\u2019re still in the middle of a pandemic and we were still in the Christmas break.<\/p>\n
I went hope, took a nap, watched the Cowboys lose, then went back to the church to prepare for the first committee meeting of the year. I was excited \u2013 we still don\u2019t know exactly what events we\u2019ll actually be able to do in-person this year, but we had a blank slate of a year to begin praying and dreaming about.<\/p>\n
Minutes before the committee meeting started, a lady on the committee, and a long-time member of the church, asked to speak with me in private. She proceeded to hand me resignation letters from she and her husband and informed me that they would no longer be attending our church.<\/p>\n
We agreed to talk more after the committee meeting. So, I proceeded with the meeting, now a bit less enthusiastically. After the committee meeting, she and I sat down to discuss what was going on. I began by saying, first of all, that I was sorry for anything that I may have done to lead them to this point, then I asked what was going on. She proceeded to pull out a notebook and lay out about three years\u2019 worth of complaints. It was not a long meeting, but it was a rough one. I\u2019m a recovering people-pleaser and, while I\u2019ve come a long way through the years, I still don\u2019t enjoy hearing about all the ways I\u2019ve disappointed someone.<\/p>\n
Everything in me wanted to jump on the defensive. I wanted to respond with things like, \u201cWell, that\u2019s not accurate!\u201d or \u201cWhy on earth didn\u2019t you tell me about this three years ago?!?\u201d But none of that would\u2019ve been helpful. So, I listened. There was a lot of truth in what she shared. I needed to hear about how she felt let down by me and the church. At the end of the meeting, I simply apologized and told her that I hope they find a good church home.<\/p>\n
How do we, as pastors, respond when we\u2019ve disappointed someone? I\u2019m no expert in many areas of ministry, but I have disappointed my fair share of folks throughout my years in ministry.<\/p>\n
First, remind yourself of the gospel.<\/strong> Here\u2019s the truth. You and I will disappoint people. Do you know why? Because we\u2019re sinners. We need a Savior. But the good news of the gospel is that we\u2019ve been accepted by Almighty God through the blood of His Son, Jesus. Yes, we\u2019re sinners. But we\u2019re also forgiven.<\/p>\n Second, remind yourself that you can\u2019t change the past.<\/strong> Have you made some mistakes in the past? Most likely. In my own case, I was reminded of phone calls and visits that I should\u2019ve made but didn\u2019t. But the truth is, I can\u2019t go back and change it. I can apologize, but I can\u2019t change what\u2019s happened. There\u2019s actually a lot of freedom in this truth. I hope I\u2019ve become a better pastor in these three years, but all I can do is resolve to not make the same mistakes again.<\/p>\n