{"id":2030,"date":"2021-07-27T05:00:43","date_gmt":"2021-07-27T09:00:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.namb.net\/church-replanting\/?post_type=resource&#038;p=2030"},"modified":"2021-07-26T13:43:25","modified_gmt":"2021-07-26T17:43:25","slug":"on-death-and-dying-as-it-relates-to-churches","status":"publish","type":"resource","link":"https:\/\/www.namb.net\/church-replanting\/resource\/on-death-and-dying-as-it-relates-to-churches\/","title":{"rendered":"On Death and Dying, As it Relates to Churches"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>In 1969, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, a Swiss-American psychiatrist wrote the classic book <em>On Death and Dying<\/em>. This work, chronicling her lessons learned with terminally ill patients, outlined the five stages that all people go through as they near death.<\/p>\n<p>Beginning when they are informed of their terminal condition, the stages are as follows:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Denial:<\/strong> a suspended period of disbelief, thinking there\u2019s been some mistake made, or that the situation is not as bad as they are being told<\/li>\n<li><strong>Anger:<\/strong> an emotional reaction suggesting hostility, even betrayal, at the situation and projected often toward those felt responsible for the condition (God, loved ones, medical personnel, etc.)<\/li>\n<li><strong>Bargaining:<\/strong> an attempt to placate those felt responsible for the condition by coming to an agreement of terms, often changing behavior, in hopes of different results<\/li>\n<li><strong>Depression:<\/strong> a \u201cgiving up\u201d sense of resignation to the irreversible situation and circumstances that leaves one often leaving totally alone, vulnerable and without hope<\/li>\n<li><strong>Acceptance:<\/strong> the reality of death embraced, maybe even \u201cat peace\u201d with the inevitable end that is coming, and greater concern with eternity and\/or with those who will be left behind<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I share all of this to make this point: <em>Churches facing the need for revitalization and replanting experience the same five stages affecting their collective life and psyche.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Early in the process, when initially told the church they love and serve so faithfully is struggling (plateaued, at risk, in trouble, etc.), the knee-jerk reaction of almost everyone is denial. \u201cNo way, that\u2019s not our situation\u201d is commonly heard. Or \u201cWe\u2019re just fine; it\u2019s just a bump in the road. Soon things will be back to normal.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Later, when things don\u2019t turn around, members can get angry. \u201cWe should have gone back to the way we did it in the good ol\u2019 days.\u201d \u201cWe didn\u2019t have this problem when Pastor So-and-So was here; why did you mess things up?\u201d And there\u2019s the classic, \u201cWe don\u2019t do things like that around here.\u201d Often turnaround pastors are terminated at this stage or churches split because of their anger over the inability to move the congregation back in the right, progress-making direction.<\/p>\n<p>At some point, however, bargaining \u2013 in the form of compromise \u2013 begins to set in. Pastors may be told by members they will change and embrace new ideas <em>if<\/em> certain experiences or expressions of church life are not changed. Leaders and staff make trade-offs, hoping this will appease the concerns of others. And of course, appeals to the Almighty are made to see if the church can persuade Him to reverse course on their direction and offer a path out of the wilderness. Negotiation is the name of the game.<\/p>\n<p>Down the road of experience, when rescue is not experienced and help is not on the way, people start leaving in greater numbers, like mice abandoning a sinking ship. Deep depression begins to set in for those who remain, and they question their value, worth and significance. They buy into the idea they are a \u201csmall church\u201d \u2013 meaning \u201cof no consequence\u201d \u2013 and resign themselves to an uncertain future devoid of impact and meaning, filled only with obligation and duty. They begin to believe there may be no way out of the predicament they find themselves in.<\/p>\n<p>Ultimately, their desperation gives way to acceptance. They see the \u201cwriting on the wall\u201d that their demise is certain, and the end is near. The final chapter they write, while fatal, does not have to be futile. They often look beyond their own needs at this point to see if their death can help someone else\u2019s life. They search for legacy, and it\u2019s often found in giving.<\/p>\n<p>So, if you\u2019re reading this today and your church is struggling, my question is where are you on this spectrum? You see, the challenge for dying churches is to recognize what\u2019s going on in their collective life and to respond correctly, biblically and, I might hope, in a way that reclaims God\u2019s glory for the years to come.<\/p>\n<p><em>(More on that in Part 2)<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In 1969, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, a Swiss-American psychiatrist wrote the classic book On Death and Dying. This &hellip;<\/p>\n<p class=\"read-more\"> <a class=\"\" href=\"https:\/\/www.namb.net\/church-replanting\/resource\/on-death-and-dying-as-it-relates-to-churches\/\"> <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">On Death and Dying, As it Relates to Churches<\/span> Read More &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":2031,"template":"","meta":{"_oasis_is_in_workflow":0,"_oasis_original":0,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"default","ast-site-content-layout":"","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-gradient":""}}},"tags":[],"channels":[],"topics":[53],"languages":[],"class_list":["post-2030","resource","type-resource","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","resource_type-article","topics-replanting"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v24.0 (Yoast SEO v24.0) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>On Death and Dying, As it Relates to Churches - Church Replanting<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.namb.net\/church-replanting\/resource\/on-death-and-dying-as-it-relates-to-churches\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"On Death and Dying, As it Relates to Churches\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"In 1969, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, a Swiss-American psychiatrist wrote the classic book On Death and Dying. 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