Learning to love foreigners well

By Lori McDaniel

People gathering together is a universal activity that translates into every culture. And there’s nothing quite like a room full of women who gather bringing international food! The air quickly fills with smells of curry and sounds of repetitive conversations. We each have to restate words several times to comprehend what is being said through thick international accents. (Or, in my case, a thick southern accent.) Learning to love foreigners is a process.We don’t automatically love foreigners. Have you noticed that? Yet, scripture says,

The foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born. Love them as yourself… (Leviticus 19:34)

One way to learn to love them is to invite them into your home. Inviting foreigners into your home opens up space in your heart to learn to love and communicates favor and friendship to them. While it is quite simple, there were a few things I had to  learn the first time I had foreigners in my house.

Learn to dissolve presuppositions.

They came in wearing black burqas, they took off their robes and shoes and went to the bathroom to fix their hair. All of sudden these foreign women that crowded around a mirror, chatting and laughing, seemed like…well…normal women. Did I really think they weren’t normal because they wore a burqa or had a red bindi on their forehead? They were women, like me. I’m the one who mentally put them into a different category. We often make assumptions about someone’s life based on a 3-minute news clip we saw on TV. We must work at seeing people as people, no matter their culture or beliefs.

Learn to be comfortable with being present.

Americans have watches, but other cultures have time. We are fast-paced Americans that feel awkward with silence. When building a friendship with a foreigner, there will be quiet moments where you’ll feel uncomfortable. They probably don’t. In many cultures, presence communicates friendship; even in silence. Work at not rushing and just being present.

Learn their religion and culture.

Learning about another religion is not denying your own. Asking questions communicates a posture of being interested and often gives insight into why they believe what they do. Ask questions – Why do women cover their head? Have you been to Mecca? What does the red dot on your forehead mean? These are not offensive questions. You’re learning. They want to learn, too. By learning about them, you’ve created a safe place for them to ask you questions. And they will – Why do you teach people to drink Jesus’ blood? Why do you baptize? Why do you put ice in your tea?

Learn to be confident in the power of the gospel.

Love the gospel, but lose the sales-pitch. We are not Jesus-salesmen. We don’t have to convince someone that the gospel is true. It is true. And it is the power that brings “salvation to anyone who believes.” (Romans 1:16) And we need to lose the fear that we might have to defend our faith. There is a place for apologetics. Often these casual conversations are not it. Ask them to tell a story about their beliefs, and you will eventually have an opportunity to story the gospel.

Learn to contextualize.

Don’t alter who you are, but learn to do things acceptable in their culture. I’ve so messed this up. The first time I had Hindus into my house I cooked chicken! (They were vegetarian.) Develop a keen awareness to cultural cues and implement them. I’ve learned to “bobble” my head side to side and I’ve learned to eat rice with my hands. They want to learn American culture, too, and they feel a mutual friendship when you learn theirs.

Learn to create margin to live life with them.

Our lives are so busy that we schedule ourselves right out of a life on mission. After you’ve had them in your home, what’s your next missional-step to connecting with them? Many foreigners living in the States want an American friend. Statistically, few have found them. Let us work at loving foreigners.

Have you opened your home to internationals?
If not, what keeps you from doing so? If so, what lessons have you learned in your interactions with foreigners?

Click here to read all posts in this series. More of this subject: WorldView: The World in 2050 Originally posted on Lori’s blog Urban Mango.

Published January 11, 2016

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Lori McDaniel

Lori and her husband, Mike McDaniel, and their 3 children were missionaries in Africa before returning to plant Grace Point Church in Bentonville, AR where Mike is Lead Pastor. Lori serves as a Global Mission Catalyst with the IMB, mobilizing churches and leading women to participate in God’s global mission. Lori shares how everyday life can be a life on mission at lorimcdaniel.org.