If we are discussing “How to plant your church without losing your spouse,” the most significant counsel I would give planters is to pay attention to her. Which, quite frankly, sounds so very basic, doable and most likely something you currently practice.<\/p>\n
Yet, I want to suggest that you pay attention to a particular specific attribute in your wife especially in the demanding, hectic early days of planting. We find this feature mentioned in Psalms 128:3, “Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house….”<\/em><\/p>\n Pay attention to your wife’s fruitfulness, her flourishing. Why is this important?<\/p>\n Bearing fruit is outward expression of an inward reality. If she is not flourishing, it is a soul issue.<\/p>\n Just for clarity sakes, I am not<\/em> applying the term “fruitfulness” to spiritual fruit—that is truly the most<\/em> important application of this term fruitful. Yet, there are other ways we need to gauge flourishing or fruitfulness.<\/p>\n Ask yourself: Is your wife thriving, is she healthy? Yes, even in the midst of demands, details, progress and set backs do you see vibrancy, hope? Is she struggling deeply with anxiety or fear? That doesn’t mean she won’t experience fatigue or discouragement but overall is she hopeful, engaged and balanced? Is she able to hand burdens, fears over to Christ or is she living in a constant state of being overwhelmed?<\/p>\n Listen, watch and lean into, lead and love her well. Don’t miss warning signs that say she is NOT flourishing. Your attentiveness is critical.<\/p>\n The Bible encourages husbands to be attentive to their wives. “Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife…”<\/em> (1 Peter 3:7).<\/p>\n Even though you live under incredible demands yourself, I urge you to give her your attention. Stop to connect with her, take time to tune into her. Marriage is a call to listen. You will need to listen to what is not<\/em> being said as well.<\/p>\n Like a warning light on a dashboard, our marriages usually have some advance signals going off. Don’t ignore or overlook subtle or not so subtle warning signs that beg for attention or maintenance. Do you see warning signs she is depleted in these areas?<\/p>\n