3 Tips for Dealing with Death and Dying in Ministry

By Kyle Bueermann

As a pastor, you will inevitably and regularly encounter death.

You’ll sit with church members as they take their final breath. You’ll enter hospital rooms minutes after a loved one has passed.

Often, you’ll find out about a death before even the extended family or the funeral home. You’ll walk families through dark days of mourning.

Becoming “comfortable” (or at least as much as possible) with being around death and mourning is essential to ministry.

But pastor — don’t miss this — some of the most powerful ministry of your life will happen right in the valley of the shadow of death.

Here are some tips to effectively minister to those who are mourning — and even who are dying.

1. Remind your folks that death is part of life

All of us are infected with a terminal case of life. Despite modern advancements in medicine, statistics continue to show that 100% of people die. Eventually, every person will meet death.

Just last week, I had a conversation with a dear lady in our congregation who, barring a miracle, most likely has only a few months left to live.

Her husband passed away this past summer, and she is, to put it simply, ready to be Home.

She’s currently undergoing an aggressive form of chemotherapy that has some terrible side effects. She is ready to call it off and enter hospice care.

As you might imagine, she’s feeling a mix of emotions. There’s sadness that she won’t be around longer with her son, grandkids, and friends from church. But there’s excitement to see her Savior!

I was able to visit with her, pray, and remind her she’s walking through something that’s a part of this life. Everyone experiences death.

So it doesn’t do us any good to tiptoe around it. We must address it from the pulpit often, and we must remind our people that, eventually, death is coming for them.

2. Remind your folks that death is not ‘normal’

Does this seem to contradict what I said before? Yes, death is normal for us — but it’s not normal either.

Death is part of life. It’s inevitable. But it’s not the way life is supposed to be.

Death never was part of God’s original plan but is a result of the Fall. Therefore, the pain of death is real. It hurts.

While believers certainly have hope beyond the grave (more on that in a bit), let’s not minimize the genuine pain death brings. To do so can be perceived as diminishing the value of what (or who) was lost.

Minimizing that pain certainly risks alienating your people during some of their darkest days.

And along these lines, I’d also caution against the many clichés used during times of death and mourning.

  • “God needed another angel.”
  • “She’s up there looking down on us.”
  • “I guess God needed him more than we did.”

Not only are these not helpful, but they’re also unbiblical. Instead, love mourners through the grief process, then help them see death from a biblical standpoint.

Death is a normal part of life, but it was certainly never meant to be “normal.”

3. Remind your folks that death is not the end

For the follower of Jesus, death is but a doorway to eternal life. It’s the final stop on our way Home. Therefore, for believers, death is victory!

As you walk your people through days of mourning, don’t forget to remind them that Christ overcame the power of sin and death once and for all. This is monumentally important during funerals.

I always assume there will be people present at a funeral who 1) have no relationship with Jesus and 2) are asking questions about life and death.

What a great opportunity, as these questions swirl, to preach the gospel. Give them Jesus!

A final encouragement

Walking folks through the valley of the shadow of death is an integral part of ministry. Don’t waste those moments. Instead, let the glory of the gospel shine through during the darkest of days.

Editor’s Notes – This article originally appeared at factsandtrends.net,

Published February 25, 2020

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Kyle Bueermann

Kyle Bueermann is a Rural Specialist for the Replant Team. He served as a youth and music minister and as a senior pastor for nine years in New Mexico. He’s married to Michelle and they have two kids: Noah and Hailey. He’s a fan of the Texas Rangers and loves black coffee. Kyle and his family live in Lubbock, TX.