Ten thoughts on fighting for a good marriage

By Shauna Pilgreen

I do.

It’s something I keep before me. I’m not going to slack off. I can’t. None of us are above moral failures nor below it. You know it’s true. Someone comes to our mind right about now that is walking through a divorce, counseling, or leaving the ministry because of this.

It sickens me to think that the enemy snickers ever so loudly when he ensnares a Christian leader with impure thoughts and adulterous actions. It saddens me to think that it happens all too often and among those we esteem as pastors and ministry leaders. So hear me, I write this as a fellow friend who is fighting for my marriage, certainly not as one who has it all together or thinks I’m exempt.

Instead, I write you pleading that we work hard to fight mediocrity from sneaking into our marriages, and love our husbands extravagantly. There’s no time like now to step it up a notch! Let’s get out of these lounge clothes and get into something fresh and new. No, I wasn’t thinking lingerie, but if you were, go for it! I was thinking more along the lines of a top ten list. Okay, lingerie sounds better, you’re right!

But here’s my top ten thoughts on fighting for a good marriage.

  1. Don’t make the small things bigger than they are.
  2. Both of you are still a work in progress. He’s not finished with either of you yet.
  3. Communicate about schedule and expectations every week.
  4. Date each other weekly. Make this a non-negotiable. Put it on the calendar.
  5. If you want to see a change in your spouse, talk to God about it.
  6. Enjoy frequent sex. This is His idea.
  7. Dream together, and spur each other ahead.
  8. Do what makes him happy. [refer to no. 6]
  9. Bar status quo from settling in.
  10. You can’t make a great marriage, so stay in His Word, and keep your eyes on Jesus.

What would you add? How are you keeping your marriage fresh and new?

Published April 10, 2017

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Shauna Pilgreen

Shauna is married to Ben Pilgreen, pastor of Epic Church in San Francisco, CA. They have busy 3 boys and are in process of adopting a precious girl from India. Shauna loves exploring her city, engaging in her community, and encouraging women. Join her on her blog at ShaunaPilgreen.com where she shares how their family lives out the Gospel in the place they call home.