Six Things My Love Does for My Husband

By Kathy Ferguson Litton

What is the best thing you can do for your husband?

Love him. Love him. Love him.

My love does something no one else’s love does. Here are six:

• My love gives my husband courage.

You know that line about the love of God, “If God is for us who can be against us…?” My love for my husband can give him this empowering truth, “If she is for me who can be against me”. And that is a powerful courage-builder for him.

Courage comes to the heart that is convinced they are loved.” – Beth Moore


More than we know our men live with the nagging fear that he is not man enough. He feels evaluated, measure or stacked up against someone else. My love gives him courage for that world.
“God, let my love make him brave.”

• My love helps quiet his fears about himself.

These men we have married are surprisingly vulnerable to self-doubt and gnawing sense of inadequacy. Because success and achievement play such a vital role in a man’s sense of well being men are prone to greater fear of failure than women. The ministry world is ripe for fear of failure. He is haunted by these fears more than we can possibly know.

“God, use my love to quiet the fears that lurk in his soul.”

• My love tells him the truth. 

Love is closely attached to Truth in scripture. Love wants his highest and best. “It is not good for man to be alone” is commentary on marriage. It is good that we mutually speak the truth in love so we can become better people. We want this to be true of us: “She does him good and not harm.”  As a leader your husband has few that will tell him the truth. He needs truth driven by YOUR love.

“God, let the truth I tell him be YOUR Truth.”

• My love is NOT dependent on his performance.

Caution sign right here ladies. We have to make SURE our love is not dependent on his performance. Consider this: ” If your husband always feels as though he is only in your good graces when he has performed to your standards or met your expectations, he will not see you as his lover, friend, or partner, but as his boss.” Gospel Coalition.

I really don’t want to be his boss. But I confess I act like it often.

“God, let my love look like your gospel; grace-filled and unconditional.”

• My love gives him a safe place to park his car of vulnerability.

We say we want this but in actuality we fear it. Vulnerability is a risk we take for a greater good. If your husband tells you he is afraid of “ __________” …. your profound, unconditional love makes that safe sentence for him. When he breaks though and exposes himself it is because he trusts your love. Do not let him regret the risk he just took.  Be a part of making the outcome a greater good.

“God, when he risks his soul let me salve it with your hope and power.”

• My love draws him into emotional intimacy. 

The momentum of all the above points can build an intimacy bridge for him to walk across. When he feels safe, unafraid and unconditionally loved he can become a different man. Add to this when we initiate closeness on his terms- which is sex- it is an added bonus for both of us. Win-Win.

“God, let me see how I draw him into intimacy not demand it.”

So. This is not just a Valentine’s Day thing. It’s a 365-day-thing. Love, it’s the best thing ever.

And now abide faith, hope, love but the greatest of these is love. I Cor. 13:13

Published February 14, 2014

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Kathy Ferguson Litton

Kathy lives in Mobile, Alabama, with her husband Ed, pastor of Redemption Church. Both lost former spouses in car accidents, and God uniquely gave them new love and life together in 2009. Kathy enjoyed 26 years of life and ministry alongside Rick Ferguson. She has three children and ten grandchildren. Presently she serves as Director of Planting Spouse Development.