From Pastor’s Wife to Pastor’s Widow (an interview with Melissa Swain)

Show Notes

There is no escaping the reality that women within our church will experience the loss of their spouse at some point in their lives. The Bible instructs us to take care of widows, but how do we practically live that out? Melissa Swain lost her pastor husband Chris unexpectedly in 2021 and joins the podcast to tell her story. Melissa shares how specific help, inclusion, and an admission of the hard has helped her and her children navigate in their new world.

SHOW NOTES

Try to be specific in your offers of help (mowing the lawn, picking up groceries) rather than asking “What can I do for you?”

Even though they might not always be able to attend or give input, continue providing opportunities for fellowship and ministry as you did before.

When you don’t know what to say, don’t avoid reaching out. It’s okay to simply say, “I love you and I don’t know what to say.”

QUOTES

“I understand the statistic that 50% of widows leave their church. Their person that they walk in with, sit with, go to classes with, do all the things with is not there anymore. So that makes it really difficult to continue to be involved in the same context with the same people around you, but you’re not the same anymore.”

-Melissa Swain

“A lot of times, it is easy to feel forgotten because most people assume, ‘Oh, after the first year, you’re fine. Everything’s good. You’ve done all the first things.’ And that’s kind of the mentality of a lot of people surrounding widowhood. You’ve done the firsts. Everything else will be easy. The second Father’s day was harder than the first one. Everything new that my kids do is a first. Sometimes it’s really easy to be in a room and feel like no one knows how hard it is to be there just to be there.”

-Melissa Swain