About Kay Warren’s book, Sacred Privilege: Your Life and Ministry as a Pastor’s Wife

This morning I will be introducing Kay Warren as she speaks to hundreds of ministry wives in our tribe called Southern Baptists. Her new book Sacred Privilege: Your Life and Ministry as a Pastor’s Wife has just recently released.

Her book first captured my heart when I read, “Personal Tribute” by Kay’s husband, Rick, where he wrote the following …

“Before you read this book, I want you to know than none of my life’s contributions would have happened without Kay’s enormous influence on me, her belief in me, her prayers for me, her grace toward me, her advice to me, her support of me and her partnership with me. Without Kay, there would have never been a Saddleback Church, there would have been no Purpose Driven Life, no Global Peace Plan, no Daily Hope Broadcast, no Celebrate Recovery movement, no Daniel Plan or Orphan Care initiative, no HIV & AIDS or All African Initiatives, no Purpose Driven Fellowship of Churches, or any of the other ministries and tools that Saddleback Church has brought to the world.”

And he ended with, “she has made me a better man, husband, pastor and leader.”

Is there a better recommendation than that?

If we didn’t already think the Warrens weren’t honest and vulnerable people, Kay takes it a step further by being more candid than ever in Sacred Privilege. Her honesty serves us well in understanding the complexities of life and this calling. It also sets an unparalleled example of truthful reality. Her book is stellar for any woman called into life and ministry alongside a pastor. I give her book five stars on many levels. Her candor is just a part of the book’s appeal. She is also direct, transparent and raw as she discusses pertinent universal themes in this particular life calling. She teaches, encourages and coaches but does not fail to exhort and correct. And she does it all without failing to remind us of our sufficient and beautiful Savior.

Please, do yourself a favor, and get a copy. If you know of a sister who can’t afford one, put this book in her hands.

Below are some excerpts from Sacred Privilege that spoke to me.

1. Accept who you are.

“When we relax and embrace who we are, an incredible inner liberty is unleashed deep in our souls. We’re able to move freely in life and ministry, confident that God will multiply our ordinariness into miracles, confident that we are ‘self-sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency,’ confident we are capable and competent for any tasks he asks us to do and confident that our value as a person is secure and settled because we are God’s beloved, regardless of all that happens in our lives.”

2. Help your children survive and thrive.

“Our primary responsibility is to convey to our kids there is a God who loved them before they even know he existed. A God whose love is unlike any other love they will ever experience. They need to know in the depths of their souls that this magnificent God freely loves them.

God’s love is the secure place to anchor our souls. In light of that, we must teach our kids to continually run to God but particularly in three specific circumstances: when everything is going well and they’re happy; when they don’t know what to do and have doubts, confusion and questions; and when they fail, make mistakes, or blatantly sin. In other words, in every single moment of their lives they need to run to God, not away from God.”

3. Pursue friendships.

“How do we as pastor’s wives move past our knee-jerk reactions to hide and cover up our real selves? What can we do to get past this major barrier to intimacy? We must practice walking in the light—confess everything to God, receive his continual gift of forgiveness, and the walk in the shared light of his grace with others through friendships.

The truth is knowing and being known is the only way to last over the long haul in ministry. Close relationships are one of the main safeguards that keep us from the terrible syndrome of hiding and pretending we can walk on water. Edward Bratcher says that the only way to get off the pedestal and stop trying to walk on water is to pursue close, intimate friendships.”

4. Deal with criticism.

“Radical forgiveness will be required many times in your years of ministry. You will need to ask for it, and you will need to offer it. You’re a fallible human being, and so are the people who sit in the pews. You ‘re bound to mess up, and so are they.”

5. Protect your private life.

“You are entitled to a private life. But while you have the right to a private life, you don’t have the right to private sins. Sadly, we’ve all seen the fallout when well-known Christians who preached hard against sin had their own secret sins exposed.”

Thanks, Kay Warren, for willingness to open your life so thousands of other women may be equipped to walk the road of sacred privilege. We are indebted to you.

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Published June 12, 2017