Coaching and the Planting Spouse

For most planting spouses, it makes perfect sense for her husband to work with a coach. He has been called and entrusted with a huge task. He has a tremendous responsibility. Of course, he needs a coach.

But for her it may seem unnecessary. Why? Many women believe spouse coaching is purely about the church plant and her role in the plant, and they assume they don’t need one because:

  • She may feel she already knows what she is supposed to do as a planting wife.
  • She may be overscheduled or overwhelmed, and fears coaching will just add to her to-do list.
  • She may think other planting wives have it all together and asking for a coach is basically admitting she doesn’t.

If spouse coaching isn’t about her role, what is its purpose?

The purpose of Send Network spouse coaching is to help women develop a greater awareness
of God’s activity, listen to the Holy Spirit and grow in faith and obedience.

 Develop a Greater Awareness of God’s Activity

We all can become so engrossed in our own activity that we fail to see God’s activity. There are also times we miss seeing where God is at work because He isn’t moving in the way we expected.

Sometimes we need an outside perspective to help us see what we can’t see.

Have you ever found yourself standing at your refrigerator searching for an item for what seems like 10 minutes only to have someone else glance in and say, “It’s right there.” How did you miss it? It was right in front of you.

A coach can help planting spouses see what they may be missing.

Listen to the Holy Spirit

But a spouse coach doesn’t do this on her own. She knows that a planting wife needs to hear from the Holy Spirit more than she needs to hear from the coach.

Jesus said, “The Spirit is the One who gives life. The flesh doesn’t help at all. The words that I have spoken to you are spirit and are life.” (John 6:63, CSB)

Steve Addison describes coaching as, “The relational process of cooperating with the Holy Spirit that unlocks a person’s God-given potential, so they become more like Christ and make their unique contribution to the kingdom.”

The goal is to become more like Christ. Each planting spouse has a unique contribution to make to the kingdom in her home, community and world. Coaching is an intentional process that provides space for the Holy Spirit to speak to her.

Grow in Faith and Obedience

Spouse coaches help planting wives discern God’s voice and move forward in faith and obedience.

Planting couples regularly face challenges that require them to trust the Father. These are faith-stretching, personal growth moments.

  • Is she being asked to do something outside her comfort zone?
  • Is she being asked to be still and wait?
  • Is she hesitating to do something she believes God wants her to do?
  • Is she willing, but unsure what steps to take first?

A coaching relationship helps the planting spouse move from good intentions to actionable steps. These steps are not assigned by the coach. They are created by the planting spouse as she discerns God’s activity in her heart and life and develops appropriate action steps based on what the Holy Spirit is saying to her. The coach helps her create a system of support and accountability that fits her personality and context.

Everything we do in Send Network is based on the belief that no planting couple should plant alone. Spouse Coaching provides a supportive relationship that contributes to her spiritual, emotional and physical well-being which in turn increases her capacity to contribute to the health of her home, church plant and community.

Spouse Development Coaching is led by Tami Lowman, a certified life and leadership coach through Professional Christian Coaching Institute and member of Christian Coaches Network International.

For more information about spouse coaching, contact Tami at [email protected]

Published April 16, 2020