Ever Wanted to Fit In?

We had just packed up our kids moved to a new town to serve on church staff. Can you say culture shock?! This new place was way different than where we had previously lived. Women rarely met for bible study, mostly large double incomes, big houses and larger cars. Fancy vacations. Fancy everything. I was in over my head. I felt lonely and out of place everywhere I went. At the same time, I also felt like God was calling our family to live differently. To spend differently. To love differently than we ever have. I felt conflicted everywhere I went. I wanted to love the least of those but was surrounded by daily extravagances. I felt a bitterness rising up in me. I began to resent and dislike the very people God had called me to serve.

I spent much time in what I call running prayers. Running prayers are me running around the neighborhood with my headphones blaring and I am pleading, yelling, crying, or dancing before the Lord. Yes, it is painful for others to watch but very necessary for my Christian walk. So I began ranting to the Lord about how I felt. As clear as the mailbox in front of me, I heard God say, “Kasey, I didn’t call you here to fit in. I called you here to show them how to love Me.” That day has literally changed my life and how we have lived ever since. We then packed up our kids and moved into a low income neighborhood. We spend our family vacations on the mission field. I often show up at church in jeans, missions t-shirt, and no make up.

That day I found freedom. Freedom to be who and what God has called me to be. Freedom to quit longing for the things of this world and desire the please the Creator of the Universe.

Published January 1, 2012