Pastors’ Wives: There are no molds (blog post)

God has wired us all a certain way. It’s easy to look at the pastor’s wife you grew up with or see another pastor’s wife on social media and feel you need to be a certain way. And honestly, this feeling probably comes from a good place. More likely than not, you want to be the very best you can be. You want to serve your husband, serve your church and serve God as well as possible. But God has uniquely created you for the very situation you are in. It can also be easy to fall into the trap of feeling like you need to have a certain skillset or a certain personality. But, again, God knew exactly what He was doing when He created you. There is no mold you can step into to become the perfect pastor’s wife, but there are some truths you can lean into as you navigate your role in the church.

Here are three truths you can rely on as a pastor’s wife

1. You are a child of God

Regardless of your husband’s title, you are a child of God. “But to all who did receive Him, He gave them the right to be children of God, to those who believe in His name…” (John 1:12). Before anything—wife, mother, occupation, you name it—you are a child of God. This simple truth puts us all on the same level. God doesn’t care about our earthly titles. He cares about our hearts. As we navigate how we fit into His plan, remember that loving God is our first calling.

2. You are a member of a family

You belong. Despite your title, you may not always feel this way, but you are an indispensible member of the body of Christ. “But now God has placed each one of the parts in one body just as He wanted. And if they were all the same part, where would the body be? Now there are many parts, yet one body.” Your role in the body of Christ isn’t any more or less valuable than another part, but all are vitally necessary. Believe that God has not made a mistake in placing you in the role you are in and serve the body of Christ in the unique way He has created you to serve.

3. There is a season for everything

We are all familiar with Ecclesiastes 3:1, “There is an occasion for everything, and a time for every activity under heaven.” Enjoy the season you are in. Your role will most likely change as the seasons of your life change. We have different priorities and capacity when we have young kids than we were before kids. And once those kids are in school or grown, things change again. Use the season you are in right now. Trust that God is using this season, to prepare you for the next.

There is no mold for the perfect pastor’s wife. In fact, there is no perfect pastor’s wife. But, you were perfectly placed in your situation by a perfect God. Trust in how God has wired you and lean into that. Feel freedom in the fact that He doesn’t want you to be anyone else. In His perfect way and perfect timing, you are exactly who you need to be and exactly where you need to be. Rest in that truth.

Watch this episode of We Are Send Network and hear from pastors’ wives about navigating their roles in the church.

Published October 10, 2019