Women gathering together is a universal activity that translates in every culture.
And there’s nothing quite like a room full of women who gather bringing international food! The air fills quickly with curry and repetitive conversations. We each have to restate words several times to comprehend what is being said through thick international accents. (Or, in my case, a thick southern accent.)
Learning to love foreigners is a process.
We don’t automatically love foreigners. Have you noticed that? Scripture says,
The foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born. Love them as yourself… — Leviticus 19:34
One way to learn to love them is to invite them into your home.
Inviting foreigners into your home opens up space in your heart to learn to love and communicates favor and friendship to them. While it is quite simple, there were a few things I had to work at the first time I had foreigners in my house:
Work at dissolving presuppositions.
They came in wearing black burquas, they took off their robes and shoes, and went to the bathroom to fix their hair. All of sudden these foreigner women that crowded around a mirror, chatting and laughing, seemed like…well…normal women. Did I really think they weren’t normal because they wore a burqua or had a red bindi on their forehead? They were women. Like me. I’m the one who mentally put them into a different category. We often make assumptions about someone’s life based on a 3-minute news clip we saw on TV. We must work at seeing women as women, no matter their culture or beliefs.
Work at being comfortable with being present.
Americans have watches, but other cultures have time. We are fast-paced americans that feel awkward with silence. When building a friendship with a foreigner, there will be quiet moments where you’ll feel uncomfortable. They probably don’t. In many cultures, presence communicates friendship; even in silence. Work at not rushing and just being present.
Work at learning their religion and culture.
Learning about another religion is not denying your own. Asking questions communicates a posture of being interested and often gives insight into why they believe what they do. Ask questions – Why do women cover their head? Have you been to Mecca? What does the red dot on your forehead mean? These are not offensive questions. You’re learning. They want to learn, too. By learning about them, you’ve created a safe place for them to ask you questions. And they will – Why do you teach people to drink Jesus’ blood? Why do you baptize? Why do you put ice in your tea?
Work at being confident in the power of the gospel.
Love the gospel, but lose the sales-pitch. We are not Jesus-salesmen. We don’t have to convince someone that the gospel is true. The gospel has the power to salvation for those who believe. And we need to lose the fear that we might have to defend our faith. There is a place for apologetics. Often these casual conversations are not it. Ask them to tell a story about their god, and you will eventually have an opportunity to story the gospel.
Work at contextualizing.
Don’t alter who you are, but learn to do things acceptable in their culture. I’ve so messed this up. The first time I had hindus into my house I cooked chicken! (They were vegetarian.) Develop a keen awareness to cultural cues and implement them. I’ve learned to “bobble” my head side to side and I’ve learned to eat rice with my hands. They want to learn American culture, too, and a feel a mutual friendship when you learn theirs.
Work at creating margin to live life with them.
Our lives are busy and we can schedule ourselves right out of a life on mission. After you’ve had them in your home, what’s your next missional step to connecting with them?
Many foreigners living in the States want an American friend. Statistically, few have found them. Let us be women who work at loving foreign women.
Have you opened your home to internationals? If not, what keeps you from doing so?
If so, what lessons have you learned in your interactions with foreigners?
Share your wisdom with us in the comments.
Published February 25, 2015